“The reading this evening is taken from the Epistle of James the Moneychanger.

Now the word of the Lord came unto John of the tribe of Bayley, leader of the Songsters of Solihull, that town of much wealth which flows of milk and honey, saying “Gird up thy loins and get thee and thy Songsters unto the land of the Polish people and sing unto me there”.

Now John was a formidable man with his staff of authority, known as his baton, and he breathed fire and smoke from his mouth and nostrils which learned people said did come from his addiction to the tobacco weed.  He was well versed in the Songs of Solomon and the Psalms of David, the use of the vocal chords and other chords also, whether cordant or discordant, but he needed the Lord’s guidance on the whereabouts of his loins and how to gird them.  However, his prayers were answered and after much wailing and gnashing of teeth he prepared himself and his Songsters.

Then John and his master Nigel went forth to catch the sacred birds to fly the Solihullites to the land of the Poles, but these large birds hid themselves from John’s face and went in directions that John did not want.  Many flew away in the hours of darkness causing much distress to John and to James the Moneychanger and his labourers.  But they prevailed and the Solihullites travelled to the promised land.

Now the Polish people and their servant Ania welcomed their guests joyously and said, “Come  and visit our lake which is more beautiful than the sea of Galilee”, and the Solihullites assembled at the place of departure.  But the Poles had few wagons  to take them to the lake and their horses were tired.  The noonday sun beat down upon the Solihullites and they were sore distressed so they prayed unto the Lord for deliverance from this place of suffering.  And lo!,  more wagons appeared from the woods and in due time they came unto the lake led by one of their elders who was named Lorna with her three-wheeled pathfinder.  And the Poles applauded her greatly.

Having returned to their place of sojourn, the Solihullites were invited to a great feast, but their horse-drawn wagons were slow and caused much wrath to the Poles who travelled in fast chariots.  Then the fatted pig was slaughtered and brought forth on a platter, much wine was drunk and musicians and dancers performed.  Now the eye of one of the men who danced lighted upon one of the Solihullite maidens and he would have made off with her to his tent but Rosemary was true to her husband saying, “Although he may have his faults he is well trained in the art of housework, but with you I should have to start all over again!”.

The next day they went up into the high mountain to cast their eyes on the glories of nature but they were assailed by many traders seeking to part them from their gold and silver.  But the Solihullites were steadfast and most resisted the tempters, and they that did not were forgiven by their fellow travellers, restored to the path of righteousness and led back to the plain.

Then came the time for the Songsters to sing unto the Lord and glorious and harmonious was their sound and the Poles applauded greatly.  John too made complimentary noises to the Songsters who gave thanks that  when pointing to the heavens he had done so with one finger rather than two.  And again the next day the Songsters sang praises to the Lord in one of his most glorious temples and few were the voices which did not please John.

And then the rains came and poured down on the Solihullites as they journeyed to their next resting place.  The way was long and tedious and they prayed to the Lord not to desert them. Then their prayers were answered and they arrived safely and the sun shone on their faces once more.

Before leaving Poland the Songsters sang again in another of the Lord’s  temples and many other happenings took place which cannot be recorded here as the writer has been given more than 30 pieces of silver to hold his tongue.

Their thanks must go to John for all his labours and their sadness that sometimes they caused him much distress.  Then his gird seemed to weigh heavy on his loins and the smoke and fire coming from his mouth and nostrils were an awesome sight.  Thanks too to Ania who worked so hard to guide us in times of distress and to Nigel Stark for playing on the great organ when Darren could not make the journey.

Thy servant James too records his thanks to all who have supported him, particularly Maria, but also Geoff Biggs and David Wright for coach duties and other assistance, and all those who have helped to make the tour such a success – especially in the days of preparation when all seemed gloom and doom.

And now the Solihull Songsters are planning their next adventure to a place called Sidmouth in the land of the Savages, probably next autumn.  Give thy ear to Liz who sits in our chair, and to John also in a few weeks time when they will bring thee further news.

Gloria in Excelsis, and may thy eardrums now rest in peace”.